Thank God we created croquet.

It would be awkward to have sex with Corey's girlfriend when he is here...or at all.

"You know who really knows how to kill a party?" -Corey

"Greg Cole." -Greg Cole

So are drum majors just part of the band, or is it like Engineering or Finance?

"Do people from Radford go to Med School?" -Vance

"Yeah, as the case studies." -Greg

"I don't have any girl friends." -Talia

"Except for Greg." -Vance

"Hey I never said I was her friend!" -Greg

Most people are not mean to girls.  Except me!  I treat everyone the same.

Penelope is the only girl that licks me.

"You are a very happy person"

"I know...but not in a gay way!" -Greg

If I had hands that big, I would walk around with my hands out.  The girls would be coming.  And not the gross kind.

"One minute isn't enough to burp" -Derek

"That smells like penis.  Oh wait, you didn't burp yet." -Greg

Glennon isn't intelligent enough to smile.

Vance has lost his sight, hearing, and vision.

I'm shocked she likes black people, since she can't take the big one.

"Do water spiders live underwater?" -Derek

"Of course they live underwater, why else would they have spider in their name?" -Greg

"That always happens to me. I'm holding onto something and someone grabs it and sucks it."

"I've never burped. That's actually why Frank Beamer recruited me."

"Semen tastes bad."
-Greg "I know that from going to the naval yard."

Greg- "Tara, go get us another beer, cause you're a woman and that's what you do, you get stuff for us."
Tara- "I hope you chop off your legs and no one marries you."

"When I'm friends with Tyrod, he's going to tell you to fuck off."

Corey: "Don't give her people food."
Talia: "But she is so cute."
Derek: "Well so is Greg but we don't give him people food."
Greg: "That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

Greg: "I'd rather have Blue Moon..."
Vance: "Than?"
Greg: "Than Blue Moon with orange."

"I started a Tyrod chant at the milkshake...at the store...at the milkshake store."